I Always Said

I always said that my children wouldn’t watch too much T.V.
I wouldn’t smack them unless it was definitely the only option.
I wouldn’t bribe them with food to shut up for 5 minutes.
I would read at least 2 books a day to them.

I didn’t have them for someone else to raise.

And yet, here I am.

Tomorrow they both start daycare full time.
I start Uni full time. And while I know this is admirable and accepted, I still feel as though I am fobbing them off.
Because I am thinking how wonderful it will be to have a clean floor- The. Whole. Day.
How wonderful it will be to have a cup of hot tea.
How wonderful it will be to be able to sit down without having two little people climbing on me the second I do.

I know I will miss them.
I will miss everything.
That’s how I know I’m a good mother.
I’m doing it for all of us, them and me.

Even though I know it will hurt.Image